For me, being a student of the teaching on freedom from suffering is not about affirming the idea that ‘all is one’ or ‘it’s all good’. It is not all good, and this work reveals how not good it is.
Meditation does not exactly feel good to me. It never really has. It feels like taking medicine. It does not feel like an escape or a relief. In meditation, I do not reach states where I would like to reside permanently. There is no bliss or ‘stream-entry’ happening here.
The light of brighter awareness reveals psychological and emotional content that is not pleasant. It shows me how fiercely I am clinging to a sense of self that is always dissatisfied and threatened. It shows me how much I live in repetitive thoughts about ‘me and my problems’, regrets, hopes, schemes and plots. It shows me how little I trust. That’s how the medicine works. If it feels good in any way, it’s when I note that it is doing what it’s supposed to do.
Being close to an awakened teacher is like taking the strongest dosage of the medicine available, plus some, times ten billion. I am told that the sense of dissatisfaction gets much louder and more intolerable before it lets go. It’s pretty loud and intolerable at the moment.
Svaha 
I hear you.
My experience is that it does not feel ‘good’ as long as I am identified with the content that I am becoming more aware of. If I mistakenly think that my thoughts, words or actions are ‘me’.
Which is much of the time although far less as practice continues and more specifically as I am consistent with my practices.
I too am feeling contracted and UNtolerable at the moment. Time to engage the ‘medicine’ more deliberately. This too shall pass.
Thank you for your feedback, Adrianne. You’re right, it feels bad when there is identification with the content… and/or with the ‘observer’ of the content. I’m reminded of James’ koan-question, ‘Who’s watching the watcher?’ The mind can’t go there.
But, meditation is “just this”.
Hi Aly,
It is a very interesting post and so to the point. I find that when I do catch myself “slipping” into dissatisfaction or suffering, when I observe my negative thoughts, emotions I do also get annoyed sometimes. I want to progress faster, I want to be better, i do not want to be judging, gossiping – and yet STOP – all these wants ARE dissatisfactions! “I wants” are not a part of being present.
So at the end I am just happy and thankful for being able to see and observe all these “not all good” things happening – that is my progress.
And with so little time I have for additional practice, besides of course living it, I do prefer reading or doing The Work, or writing to meditation.
So thank you for the post and
Hi Elena, thank you for sharing what it’s like for you. I love the Work of Byron Katie for unraveling the more subtle ‘spiritual stories’ about enlightenment/awakening/freedom and what it is ‘supposed’ to look and feel like.